


Eyes Closed

by SherlollyDramoine



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Sad, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 09:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20526056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlollyDramoine/pseuds/SherlollyDramoine
Summary: It's been four months since you've broken up with Rami. This is a song fic based on Halsey's "Eyes Closed"





	Eyes Closed

It has been four months since it all ended and you know the pain should be subsiding, but it grows stronger every day. He's always on your mind as a matter of fact you always thought he was the one for you until that one night when it all came painfully crashing down. It was the argument to end all arguments the final nail in the coffin of your slowly dying relationship. 

Somehow you managed to try and move on navigating through your pain by working your way through Tinder. These forays into small inconsequential relationships, if you'd even call them that since they are more like a series of minor trysts that help temporarily ease the pain of your loneliness. 

_ I, I know where to lay. I know what to say. It's all the same. And I, I know this game. It's all the same _

Your chest is hurting and your eyes are stinging with unshed tears, if maybe a reminder that the one currently sleeping in your bed isn't him. You glance over at the man who's name you can't seem to recall currently but a quick glance in the darkness he almost-almost looks just like him. You can see the sleeping man's curls and choke on your tears. You think if you closed your eyes you can picture him. 

_ Now if I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you. But he'll never stay, they never do. Now if I keep my eyes closed he feels just like you. But you've been replaced. I'm face to face with someone new.  _

You pick up your phone your fingers itching to dial his number or send a text but you refrain. In the months that have passed you continually ask yourself where the hell it all went wrong. You had been talking about marriage and starting a family but then work, stress, small fights over nothing, and then the distance all culminated in that one final fight. 

You've never loved anyone the way you loved him and that scared you. That final argument almost killed you with the end result being you walking out the door and never looking back. He tried for over a month by calling, texting, and emailing,but you continually ignored them. 

You were so distraught in the aftermath that you never even went back for your stuff. You tried to purge the memories of your years together and your life together. 

You glance back to the other side of the bed and can almost feel him there with you. Try as you might, no one else will ever be him but if you leave your eyes closed you can easily pretend for a moment that the one in your bed was. Even now you find yourself thinking that there isn't anything in the world you wouldn't do for him if he asked. 

_ Would've gave it all for you, cared for you. So tell me where I went wrong. Would've gave it all for you, cared for you. My lover, my liar. Would've trade it all for you, there for you. So tell me how to move on. Would've trade it all for you, cared for you. My lover, my liar. Now if I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you. But he'll never stay, they never do. Now if I keep my eyes closed he feels like you. But you've been replaced. I'm face to face with someone new.  _

You can't help but feeling like this, after an intimate encounter with a near stranger. He was always so distinctive in his looks, but the ones you choose always have something that remind you of him. 

Deciding that you can't sleep, which is often the case on nights like these. You pull out your phone and start scrolling through the memories still trapped in your phones photo gallery. It's been a painful few months but you've been unable to delete them, the last remnants of tangible proof that things weren't always terrible. Just thinking of deleting them made your chest hurt and the tears that were building finally spilled over silently running their course down your face.

You click on one of your favorites that was taken on a red carpet and staring at his beautiful smiling face you slip out bed silently and pad toward the fire escape. You grab your cigarettes off the counter and light it up before you are fully outside. 

Feeling the urge to go back inside and kick what's-his-face out of bed because you know it's wrong to keep lying. You aren't over Rami and at this point probably never will be. 

_ They don't realize that I'm thinking about you. It's nothing new, it's nothing new. Now if I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you. But he'll never stay, they never do. Now if I keep my eyes closed he feels just like you. But you've been replaced. I'm face to face with someone new.  _

Struggling with the overwhelming emotions of the night you make what you decide is probably a very bad decision. You can't help but wonder if he's hurting as bad as you are. Unlocking your phone you open your contacts, scroll down to the R's and select his name. You click on the messaging icon and type out a simple message.  _ I'm sorry. I miss you.  _ And hit send. 

You toss your cigarette away and have barely moved when the unmistakable ping of your text notifications goes off. With shaking hands you tell yourself not to look, but you do, and what you read nearly takes your breath away.  _ Me too. I love you YN. Can we talk?  _

You smile to yourself and type a reply but before you can hit send your phone is ringing. Maybe sometimes the pain is worth it, maybe, just maybe you can get your happily ever after. 


End file.
